Continued from Days Without Sleep - Edition - I
School started at 8:00 a.m. It was 9:30 then. My mobile rang. Naturally, I took it as a call from the police station or something. Saw the name on the screen. Abhik.
I received it hesitatingly.
“Yeah, what is it?”
“Hey, didn’t bother to tell me, huh? I wake up early and get ready for school. Why didn’t you tell me?! You didn’t even come to the bus stop.”
“Uhh… I got a slight headache, so I thought of skipping today’s classes.”
“Boy! You are one lucky bastard! Guess what? The school’s closed anyways. Wanna hang out?”
“Mmm… maybe later… not today… got some work to get done. By the way, why is school off today?”
“What? Didn’t you see the news yet? Remember Akash? Well, he got killed last night. Pretty messy business ,man… I wonder now his parents must be feelin’ now. He was kind of a good guy”,he sighed,” I thought you knew about it.”
“Nope, I just woke up about an hour ago. Abhi… there’s something we should talk about… its…”
“Yeah, I’m listening, go ahead. I hope its not any of your stupid jokes. Tell me.”
“Uhh… you still wanna hang out? Can we meet?”, I said seriously.
“Sure, I’ll come over as soon as I can.”
“No! Don’t! I’ll come over to your place. Its better there. I hope you don’t have problem with that”.
“Problem? Me? Are you crazy?! Come over quick. I’ll be waiting.”
“Okay, sure. Thanks.”
The line went dead. Man! Everything was going ‘dead’. I guess I’ll have to wait for my turn. It would be coming soon.
I lied again. I told my parents I needed Abhik’s help in finishing the assignments. That provided me with the perfect excuse to leave the house. Atleast I wasn’t lying about where I would be the entire day.
I reached Abhik’s place. Rang the doorbell. I looked pretty decent in formals. I guess all murderers looked handsome in good attire. I carried a small backpack which had some books. Thats for convincing Abhik’s parents. Man! I was getting good at this. I should have decided on this career years ago! I also had a shirt and a pair of trousers and small amount of cash, just in case of any emergency. Though what that emergency would be, I hadn’t figured out yet.
Abhik opened the door. He was just wearing shorts, bare torso. That was expected. It was summer. We went directly to his room on the first floor.
On the way he informed,”My parents are out. Should be back by evening. If you want anything to eat though, help yourself. There’s plenty to go around in the fridge”. He smiled warmly. It seemed I was seeing a smile in a hundred years. It felt comforting, even though it was for a moment.
In his room I could see the PC was on. Assassins Creed. Game paused. I got myself on the bed and laid down flat, my hands covering my face in frustration.
He immediately inquired in a concerned voice,”You all right there? Whats the matter? You look so stressed. Did you finally get some sleep? Tell me. You need any help?”
I stared at him I don’t know for how long. He was expecting me to break the silence. I had to say somthing. I could no loger hold things to myself. I needed a confidant. I needed a moment’s peace. My mind needed a moment’s rest to start working fresh. I burst out like a ticking time bomb!
“I killed Akash.”
“What?!!!”. It was all he could say. He had not much choice of words. I mean, what can you do when your friend suddenly confesses he killed someone? Whats your immediate reaction? I wasn’t expecting him to say anything else. I narrated to him the unfortunate happenings of the night before. He listened wide-eyed. He made no sound or movement at all. When I had finished, all he said was “Are you crazy?!!!”
“No, I’m not. As a matter of fact, I am, because I’ve done something so hideous.”
“I mean, you couldn’t have done it. Its impossible! You’re joking, right?”
I just looked at him with the gravest expression on my face. He was still freaked out. He should’ve been . Its natural. Not many people get to come across a confessing murderer in their daily lives.
He was persistent. “No no no no… NO… It can’t be true. His body was found in his bedroom, not on the streets. There’s no way a dead man is walking. Besides, what would he be doing out there in the middle of the night? All this makes no sense!”
It was my turn to be shocked. “What? In his bedroom? How? I killed him there. He had stopped breathing. I know it. How?”
“I guess… you must have been dreaming then.”
“Well, I don’t sleep, you see. I can’t sleep. Wait a second!”,finally I grabbed something to argue about,”Did he have any injuries? Near the head?”
“Hmm… yeah he has. Thats the most mysterious part of his death. He bled to death. He suffered massive injury at the back of his head. All he had was a pillow below it. And no weapon or object was recovered from his house or neighbourhood area. It has really puzzled the investigators. But, where are you gettin’ at? What about it?”
“I know how he bled… because I did that to him! It was me. Believe it or not. I hit him with a rock. I just know it. It all happened right before my eyes.”
“So? What do you want from me? Help you hide in my house?!!”,he yelled at me,”Stop it now. Is this some kind of joke for you? This isn’t funny anymore!”
I was losing my head then. “I’m not trying to be funny! Why don’t you believe me? Its not one of your games. A boy died, asshole. And I killed him! Do you even realise how that feels? I can’t tell my parents, so I’ve come for help to you. But you aren’t helping either!”
He was quiet for a while. “Okay, so how come the body ends up at the house?”,was his direct question.
“I dunno. How do you suppose I should know that? But, what should I do now, man? Its all so f**ked up. Real bad!”
“I’ve no idea. Maybe lie low for a while until all of this is over. Did anyone see you do that?”
That was the most disturbing question for me.
“Yes, there is someone”
“What the hell! Who?!”
“Shweta. She was there. She saw everything…everything.”
“C’mon dude, how can you not tell that to me? This is a real mess. I mean, how could you kill a boy? I know you didn’t like him but… a murder? Its too much.”
“I had no idea what I was doing there at night. I dunno why he attacked me. I have no idea how the rock came there and what was going through my head. I would not kill a boy just for a girl, will I?” I was breaking down. He could sense it in my voice. My eyes grew watery. I tried to hide it.
He just put a hand on my shoulder. “Take it easy. It was an accident. Yoe’re gonna come out of all this,I know. Don’t worry. Here.”
He handed me a bottle of water. I took a sip or two. Then he added,”Just go home now. My parents will be here soon. Stay low for some days. Don’t go to school for a week. Take a sick-leave. Don’t contact others. And please please please…do call and check in on Shweta. Its really important. Tell me whatever she tells you. We’ll have to face it.”
I sat there for a moment lost in thoughts. Finally, I picked up myself to leave.
I could manage a few words. “Thanks buddy. I’ll call you later. I better get back now.”
“Yeah, take care of yourself. Be a man!” He smiled gently.
Surprisingly, I found myself smiling back.
I left.
The rest of the day went fine. I didn’t contact anyone neither did anyone try to get in touch with me. I rang Shweta’s mobile eight times. No answer. Things did not look too bright for me.
It was 12:30 a.m. My life had changed so much in the last 24 hours. Unbelievable changes. Its been five days now that I’m without any sleep. Still didn’t feel tired. Not a bit.
I lay on my bed for quite some time then. I was thinking what Shweta was probably thinking. There was too much to think, too little that could be done. Time passed by…
I looked at my watch. 2 a.m. I wasn’t feeling even a bit sleepy. I got up and left the room. I went to the terrace of our apartment. Ours was a five-storeyed apartment. A light breeze was blowing. Good for me, given the hot summer days.
As I walked about, I saw someone standing near the corner. I couldn’t see through the darkness. I thought it was Mr.Gupta. He had fequent trouble with his sleep. I moved closer. To my surprise I saw him approach me too. Or rather I should say, She. It was Shweta. What on Earth was she doing there then?!
By then we had come face to face. She seemed composed. I didn’t know what to say. I waited for her to say something. She did.
“You killed him.”
I was taken aback at this direct assault.
“It was an accident, Shweta. You saw it yourself. But you could have stopped it. You could have come to my rescue.”
“It was not upto me. I can see you still don’t know the truth yet.”
She was giving me the creeps. It was dark and I had no idea what we were doing there.
“What truth?”
“Its all a dream,your dream.”
“What are you talking about? What dream? I saw him die before me. It was real for sure!”
“No, it became real. What you did was just in your dream. How you made it real I have no idea. It was your dream. We were in your dream. You brought us. You were probably thinking of us before going to sleep. You killed Akash in his dreams.”
Her voice was so cold and harsh.
“No, it can’t be true. It was real. You’re out of your head. This is real. He was real. The murder was real!”
“Yes, no doubt about that. The murder did happen.But not the way you see it”,she moved even closer, her voice even colder now,”If it were real then what do you think we were doing at that place in the middle of the night? What place was it exactly? How did his body reach his bedroom? How did you find a rock out of nothing? Tell me. Answer me!”
I had no answer. Clearly I had missed out those parts of my life. I hadn’t given it much thought. I was too busy thinking other things. I couldn’t account for those moments. My memory didn’t help either. I was at a loss.
I argued,”But I haven’t slept in the last 5 days. Even Abhik knows that. How can I possibly dream then?”
“Abhik doesn’t stay with you. Leave him out of this. Well, what have you done those nights then?”
“As far as I can remember, I spent the nights reading my favourite Agatha Christie’s crime fiction.” was my instant reply.
“Which is?”
“Its called The…”, I couldn’t finish my sentence. I couldn’t remember the name. I stared blankly at her face searching for answers.
“You never read it. You were probably thiking of the English assignment – A short note on Agatha Christie.”
I could see where it was going. I could see the truth in her reasons. I never read such a novel. I slept at nights. I slept all nights.Thats why I never felt tired during the day. The dreams seemed to make everything real. It made me feel awake. It all makes sense. Thats why I could never account for some intervals of my time. It were at these times that I was either falling asleep or waking up. But my dreams seemed so real. And how it affected the real world too. Unbelieveable power! Everthing was falling to place now. Every piece of the puzzle. But I decided to push further.
“How did you escape then?”, my voice was getting firmer now. I wanted control.
“When you were lying after killing him, I woke up. My mom woke me up. There was a burglary at our neighbour’s. I was lucky. I later realised the whole truth. It was an improbable one but the only possible one.”
“You still are”,I mumbled.”But why did Akash attack me?”
“Maybe thats how you imagined it to be. Maybe thats what you thought of him. Hatred and dislike combined. Your thoughts control your dreams. Your emotions too. You sure do have a rare gift to transform it to reality. Its impressing.”
“Did you tell anyone about it?”
“Whats the use? Nobody will believe such nonsense. It will only create more drama around the murder.”
Man! She sure was smart. If she ever got into ant dirty mind games I’d bet my entire money on her! One thing was confirmed. There was no evidence in the crime. Nobody had anything against me. A perfect crime!
I sighed. Took a deep breath. “So, you’ve come all the way to my terrace to tell me all these? Why? What do you want?”
“Sorry to say, but I didn’t come all the way here to see you. You brought me here.”
“What the…?”, I stopped midway of my speech. I understood. But it was too much. To be experiencing all this right before me.
We were in my dream.
I was thinking of her before dozing off to deep slumber. My thoughts giuded me, my dreams.
She spoke softly,”You brought me here”,she moved her face closer such that I could feel the warmth of her breath in my ears. Her voice seemed a distant whisper. “You brought me here”,she repeated,”to kill me!”.
As soon as those last words had left her lips, I felt a sudden pang of pain in my chest. She had stabbed me! A kitchen knife. It missed my heart but was enough to bleed me to death.
She still whispered,”But I want to live. Forgive me, please”. I felt guilt in her voice.
And she thrust it deeper.
Instinctively, I raised my hands in protection. I pushed her away from me. She fell, hurting herself. I felt bursts of pain in my head. My hands were going numb. My heart felt like hot lava. It was the second time in two days that I was facing death. Just my luck! With great effort I pulled out the knife. It hadn’t penetrated deep. I could see her approaching me furiously again. I tried to resist. She tried to snatch the knife from my hand.
Fight for survival. She tried to guide the knife back through my chest. I was weak. I did not stand a chance against her then. The knife pointed towards me and she put all her power behind it. Few seconds of tussle and then it happened. It went through the heart.
It went through her heart. I had turned the knife just in time towards her and pulled her towards me. It ripped through her left breast and right into her heart. She collapsed to the ground. So did I.
I could see her panting for breath. I didn’t want her to die. That was the last thing I wished. Another murder to my name. Not again. Not happening. I got close to her. She couldn’t speak. She just looked at me with wide teary eyes. They were crying for help. They were screaming in unbearable pain. If she died now, she’d be dead in the real world. I had to do something. I had to stop the dream. Its a pity that we can’t use Alt+F4 combination in the real world.
I had to make a decision and I had to make it quick. She was dying. There was definitely a shortcut to ending my dream. It was my dream. I had to take control. We were at the edge of the terrace. I made the decision.
I did it. And hoped it would work.
I opened my eyes. It was all very blurry. I could make out the white ceiling above.
I could smell a distinct odour. But I couldn’t move a muscle in my body. I was probably lying on a bed. Probably hospital. I could make out a face before me now. It was Abhik.
His voice was clear,”Thats my man! You gonna live man. You got into a real mess. But don’t worry. By the way, Shweta is admitted in the room beside yours. She got admitted the same day. Docs can’t figure out what’s wrong with her. She’s breathing but is lost in a kind of deep sleep. Forget ’bout that. We’re glad you’re doing well. Take care now.”
So, it did work.
I was glad to hear that Shweta was alive. But I didn’t understand her condition. Probably I had ended the dream prematurely. To save her, I had jumped off the terrace, it ended my dream with a kick-start! Surprisingly, killing myself there, didn’t kill me hereBut it did something else to me. There could be a thousand possibilities as to the consequences for that action. But there was nothing I could do now. I was helpless myself.
Soon, my parents came to see me. They were glad I had gained consciousness. But the shock came later. I was not recovering. My body was growing weaker. My responses were not working. My body would not go to sleep. Shweta’s would not wake up. It seemed we were tied to the opposite ends of the same rope. But tied all the same. Helpless.
A week passed.
So, here I am. Sleepless. This time for real. No dreams. My body is deteriorating day by day. I need sleep. I need rest. Doctors can’t seem to understand my sleepless condition. They’s given up hope after considering every medical possibility.
Shweta is still asleep. She’s not showing any signs of waking up. I envy her sleep. She probably envies me too. Funny but true.
Its strange how death seems to have got a liking for me. Playing with me, toying with me,tossing me around for fun. I sometimes wonder now,’Will death be painful? Or just like a preparing for a long sleep?’
I see my parents everyday. I see them cry. I can’t cry. My body no longer has that privilege. They know their son is going to die soon. I see the agony in their faces,feel the desperation in their voices as they pray for me. I can’t look into their eyes, it kills me every second of my survival. The number of visitors kept on increasing. Friends, relatives and others. I wish to die now. I can’t bear this burden anymore. My parents deserve better.
I’m Rahul. I don’t wish to die. But destiny seems to have planned otherwise. I do not have much time left. I lie here, on my bed just causing pain to the people who love me. I’m glad I could save Shweta. I hope she wakes up some day.
As for me, I am still waiting for sleep…permanent eternal sleep of death.
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I received it hesitatingly.
“Yeah, what is it?”
“Hey, didn’t bother to tell me, huh? I wake up early and get ready for school. Why didn’t you tell me?! You didn’t even come to the bus stop.”
“Uhh… I got a slight headache, so I thought of skipping today’s classes.”
“Boy! You are one lucky bastard! Guess what? The school’s closed anyways. Wanna hang out?”
“Mmm… maybe later… not today… got some work to get done. By the way, why is school off today?”
“What? Didn’t you see the news yet? Remember Akash? Well, he got killed last night. Pretty messy business ,man… I wonder now his parents must be feelin’ now. He was kind of a good guy”,he sighed,” I thought you knew about it.”
“Nope, I just woke up about an hour ago. Abhi… there’s something we should talk about… its…”
“Yeah, I’m listening, go ahead. I hope its not any of your stupid jokes. Tell me.”
“Uhh… you still wanna hang out? Can we meet?”, I said seriously.
“Sure, I’ll come over as soon as I can.”
“No! Don’t! I’ll come over to your place. Its better there. I hope you don’t have problem with that”.
“Problem? Me? Are you crazy?! Come over quick. I’ll be waiting.”
“Okay, sure. Thanks.”
The line went dead. Man! Everything was going ‘dead’. I guess I’ll have to wait for my turn. It would be coming soon.
I lied again. I told my parents I needed Abhik’s help in finishing the assignments. That provided me with the perfect excuse to leave the house. Atleast I wasn’t lying about where I would be the entire day.
I reached Abhik’s place. Rang the doorbell. I looked pretty decent in formals. I guess all murderers looked handsome in good attire. I carried a small backpack which had some books. Thats for convincing Abhik’s parents. Man! I was getting good at this. I should have decided on this career years ago! I also had a shirt and a pair of trousers and small amount of cash, just in case of any emergency. Though what that emergency would be, I hadn’t figured out yet.
Abhik opened the door. He was just wearing shorts, bare torso. That was expected. It was summer. We went directly to his room on the first floor.
On the way he informed,”My parents are out. Should be back by evening. If you want anything to eat though, help yourself. There’s plenty to go around in the fridge”. He smiled warmly. It seemed I was seeing a smile in a hundred years. It felt comforting, even though it was for a moment.
In his room I could see the PC was on. Assassins Creed. Game paused. I got myself on the bed and laid down flat, my hands covering my face in frustration.
He immediately inquired in a concerned voice,”You all right there? Whats the matter? You look so stressed. Did you finally get some sleep? Tell me. You need any help?”
I stared at him I don’t know for how long. He was expecting me to break the silence. I had to say somthing. I could no loger hold things to myself. I needed a confidant. I needed a moment’s peace. My mind needed a moment’s rest to start working fresh. I burst out like a ticking time bomb!
“I killed Akash.”
“What?!!!”. It was all he could say. He had not much choice of words. I mean, what can you do when your friend suddenly confesses he killed someone? Whats your immediate reaction? I wasn’t expecting him to say anything else. I narrated to him the unfortunate happenings of the night before. He listened wide-eyed. He made no sound or movement at all. When I had finished, all he said was “Are you crazy?!!!”
“No, I’m not. As a matter of fact, I am, because I’ve done something so hideous.”
“I mean, you couldn’t have done it. Its impossible! You’re joking, right?”
I just looked at him with the gravest expression on my face. He was still freaked out. He should’ve been . Its natural. Not many people get to come across a confessing murderer in their daily lives.
He was persistent. “No no no no… NO… It can’t be true. His body was found in his bedroom, not on the streets. There’s no way a dead man is walking. Besides, what would he be doing out there in the middle of the night? All this makes no sense!”
It was my turn to be shocked. “What? In his bedroom? How? I killed him there. He had stopped breathing. I know it. How?”
“I guess… you must have been dreaming then.”
“Well, I don’t sleep, you see. I can’t sleep. Wait a second!”,finally I grabbed something to argue about,”Did he have any injuries? Near the head?”
“Hmm… yeah he has. Thats the most mysterious part of his death. He bled to death. He suffered massive injury at the back of his head. All he had was a pillow below it. And no weapon or object was recovered from his house or neighbourhood area. It has really puzzled the investigators. But, where are you gettin’ at? What about it?”
“I know how he bled… because I did that to him! It was me. Believe it or not. I hit him with a rock. I just know it. It all happened right before my eyes.”
“So? What do you want from me? Help you hide in my house?!!”,he yelled at me,”Stop it now. Is this some kind of joke for you? This isn’t funny anymore!”
I was losing my head then. “I’m not trying to be funny! Why don’t you believe me? Its not one of your games. A boy died, asshole. And I killed him! Do you even realise how that feels? I can’t tell my parents, so I’ve come for help to you. But you aren’t helping either!”
He was quiet for a while. “Okay, so how come the body ends up at the house?”,was his direct question.
“I dunno. How do you suppose I should know that? But, what should I do now, man? Its all so f**ked up. Real bad!”
“I’ve no idea. Maybe lie low for a while until all of this is over. Did anyone see you do that?”
That was the most disturbing question for me.
“Yes, there is someone”
“What the hell! Who?!”
“Shweta. She was there. She saw everything…everything.”
“C’mon dude, how can you not tell that to me? This is a real mess. I mean, how could you kill a boy? I know you didn’t like him but… a murder? Its too much.”
“I had no idea what I was doing there at night. I dunno why he attacked me. I have no idea how the rock came there and what was going through my head. I would not kill a boy just for a girl, will I?” I was breaking down. He could sense it in my voice. My eyes grew watery. I tried to hide it.
He just put a hand on my shoulder. “Take it easy. It was an accident. Yoe’re gonna come out of all this,I know. Don’t worry. Here.”
He handed me a bottle of water. I took a sip or two. Then he added,”Just go home now. My parents will be here soon. Stay low for some days. Don’t go to school for a week. Take a sick-leave. Don’t contact others. And please please please…do call and check in on Shweta. Its really important. Tell me whatever she tells you. We’ll have to face it.”
I sat there for a moment lost in thoughts. Finally, I picked up myself to leave.
I could manage a few words. “Thanks buddy. I’ll call you later. I better get back now.”
“Yeah, take care of yourself. Be a man!” He smiled gently.
Surprisingly, I found myself smiling back.
I left.
The rest of the day went fine. I didn’t contact anyone neither did anyone try to get in touch with me. I rang Shweta’s mobile eight times. No answer. Things did not look too bright for me.
It was 12:30 a.m. My life had changed so much in the last 24 hours. Unbelievable changes. Its been five days now that I’m without any sleep. Still didn’t feel tired. Not a bit.
I lay on my bed for quite some time then. I was thinking what Shweta was probably thinking. There was too much to think, too little that could be done. Time passed by…
I looked at my watch. 2 a.m. I wasn’t feeling even a bit sleepy. I got up and left the room. I went to the terrace of our apartment. Ours was a five-storeyed apartment. A light breeze was blowing. Good for me, given the hot summer days.
As I walked about, I saw someone standing near the corner. I couldn’t see through the darkness. I thought it was Mr.Gupta. He had fequent trouble with his sleep. I moved closer. To my surprise I saw him approach me too. Or rather I should say, She. It was Shweta. What on Earth was she doing there then?!
By then we had come face to face. She seemed composed. I didn’t know what to say. I waited for her to say something. She did.
“You killed him.”
I was taken aback at this direct assault.
“It was an accident, Shweta. You saw it yourself. But you could have stopped it. You could have come to my rescue.”
“It was not upto me. I can see you still don’t know the truth yet.”
She was giving me the creeps. It was dark and I had no idea what we were doing there.
“What truth?”
“Its all a dream,your dream.”
“What are you talking about? What dream? I saw him die before me. It was real for sure!”
“No, it became real. What you did was just in your dream. How you made it real I have no idea. It was your dream. We were in your dream. You brought us. You were probably thinking of us before going to sleep. You killed Akash in his dreams.”
Her voice was so cold and harsh.
“No, it can’t be true. It was real. You’re out of your head. This is real. He was real. The murder was real!”
“Yes, no doubt about that. The murder did happen.But not the way you see it”,she moved even closer, her voice even colder now,”If it were real then what do you think we were doing at that place in the middle of the night? What place was it exactly? How did his body reach his bedroom? How did you find a rock out of nothing? Tell me. Answer me!”
I had no answer. Clearly I had missed out those parts of my life. I hadn’t given it much thought. I was too busy thinking other things. I couldn’t account for those moments. My memory didn’t help either. I was at a loss.
I argued,”But I haven’t slept in the last 5 days. Even Abhik knows that. How can I possibly dream then?”
“Abhik doesn’t stay with you. Leave him out of this. Well, what have you done those nights then?”
“As far as I can remember, I spent the nights reading my favourite Agatha Christie’s crime fiction.” was my instant reply.
“Which is?”
“Its called The…”, I couldn’t finish my sentence. I couldn’t remember the name. I stared blankly at her face searching for answers.
“You never read it. You were probably thiking of the English assignment – A short note on Agatha Christie.”
I could see where it was going. I could see the truth in her reasons. I never read such a novel. I slept at nights. I slept all nights.Thats why I never felt tired during the day. The dreams seemed to make everything real. It made me feel awake. It all makes sense. Thats why I could never account for some intervals of my time. It were at these times that I was either falling asleep or waking up. But my dreams seemed so real. And how it affected the real world too. Unbelieveable power! Everthing was falling to place now. Every piece of the puzzle. But I decided to push further.
“How did you escape then?”, my voice was getting firmer now. I wanted control.
“When you were lying after killing him, I woke up. My mom woke me up. There was a burglary at our neighbour’s. I was lucky. I later realised the whole truth. It was an improbable one but the only possible one.”
“You still are”,I mumbled.”But why did Akash attack me?”
“Maybe thats how you imagined it to be. Maybe thats what you thought of him. Hatred and dislike combined. Your thoughts control your dreams. Your emotions too. You sure do have a rare gift to transform it to reality. Its impressing.”
“Did you tell anyone about it?”
“Whats the use? Nobody will believe such nonsense. It will only create more drama around the murder.”
Man! She sure was smart. If she ever got into ant dirty mind games I’d bet my entire money on her! One thing was confirmed. There was no evidence in the crime. Nobody had anything against me. A perfect crime!
I sighed. Took a deep breath. “So, you’ve come all the way to my terrace to tell me all these? Why? What do you want?”
“Sorry to say, but I didn’t come all the way here to see you. You brought me here.”
“What the…?”, I stopped midway of my speech. I understood. But it was too much. To be experiencing all this right before me.
We were in my dream.
I was thinking of her before dozing off to deep slumber. My thoughts giuded me, my dreams.
She spoke softly,”You brought me here”,she moved her face closer such that I could feel the warmth of her breath in my ears. Her voice seemed a distant whisper. “You brought me here”,she repeated,”to kill me!”.
As soon as those last words had left her lips, I felt a sudden pang of pain in my chest. She had stabbed me! A kitchen knife. It missed my heart but was enough to bleed me to death.
She still whispered,”But I want to live. Forgive me, please”. I felt guilt in her voice.
And she thrust it deeper.
Instinctively, I raised my hands in protection. I pushed her away from me. She fell, hurting herself. I felt bursts of pain in my head. My hands were going numb. My heart felt like hot lava. It was the second time in two days that I was facing death. Just my luck! With great effort I pulled out the knife. It hadn’t penetrated deep. I could see her approaching me furiously again. I tried to resist. She tried to snatch the knife from my hand.
Fight for survival. She tried to guide the knife back through my chest. I was weak. I did not stand a chance against her then. The knife pointed towards me and she put all her power behind it. Few seconds of tussle and then it happened. It went through the heart.
It went through her heart. I had turned the knife just in time towards her and pulled her towards me. It ripped through her left breast and right into her heart. She collapsed to the ground. So did I.
I could see her panting for breath. I didn’t want her to die. That was the last thing I wished. Another murder to my name. Not again. Not happening. I got close to her. She couldn’t speak. She just looked at me with wide teary eyes. They were crying for help. They were screaming in unbearable pain. If she died now, she’d be dead in the real world. I had to do something. I had to stop the dream. Its a pity that we can’t use Alt+F4 combination in the real world.
I had to make a decision and I had to make it quick. She was dying. There was definitely a shortcut to ending my dream. It was my dream. I had to take control. We were at the edge of the terrace. I made the decision.
I did it. And hoped it would work.
I opened my eyes. It was all very blurry. I could make out the white ceiling above.
I could smell a distinct odour. But I couldn’t move a muscle in my body. I was probably lying on a bed. Probably hospital. I could make out a face before me now. It was Abhik.
His voice was clear,”Thats my man! You gonna live man. You got into a real mess. But don’t worry. By the way, Shweta is admitted in the room beside yours. She got admitted the same day. Docs can’t figure out what’s wrong with her. She’s breathing but is lost in a kind of deep sleep. Forget ’bout that. We’re glad you’re doing well. Take care now.”
So, it did work.
I was glad to hear that Shweta was alive. But I didn’t understand her condition. Probably I had ended the dream prematurely. To save her, I had jumped off the terrace, it ended my dream with a kick-start! Surprisingly, killing myself there, didn’t kill me hereBut it did something else to me. There could be a thousand possibilities as to the consequences for that action. But there was nothing I could do now. I was helpless myself.
Soon, my parents came to see me. They were glad I had gained consciousness. But the shock came later. I was not recovering. My body was growing weaker. My responses were not working. My body would not go to sleep. Shweta’s would not wake up. It seemed we were tied to the opposite ends of the same rope. But tied all the same. Helpless.
A week passed.
So, here I am. Sleepless. This time for real. No dreams. My body is deteriorating day by day. I need sleep. I need rest. Doctors can’t seem to understand my sleepless condition. They’s given up hope after considering every medical possibility.
Shweta is still asleep. She’s not showing any signs of waking up. I envy her sleep. She probably envies me too. Funny but true.
Its strange how death seems to have got a liking for me. Playing with me, toying with me,tossing me around for fun. I sometimes wonder now,’Will death be painful? Or just like a preparing for a long sleep?’
I see my parents everyday. I see them cry. I can’t cry. My body no longer has that privilege. They know their son is going to die soon. I see the agony in their faces,feel the desperation in their voices as they pray for me. I can’t look into their eyes, it kills me every second of my survival. The number of visitors kept on increasing. Friends, relatives and others. I wish to die now. I can’t bear this burden anymore. My parents deserve better.
I’m Rahul. I don’t wish to die. But destiny seems to have planned otherwise. I do not have much time left. I lie here, on my bed just causing pain to the people who love me. I’m glad I could save Shweta. I hope she wakes up some day.
As for me, I am still waiting for sleep…permanent eternal sleep of death.
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